Unnecessary Air

"It is equally important to listen as it is to speak."

-Sarah Kay

The words she spoke were pointless. They didn't matter, not even to her. She spoke them to fill the silence, to avoid the transition between topics when there's an uncertain pause. Those moments made her cringe with the pain of not knowing what to do or say.  She'd speak the day away if no one jumped in. She'd speak if no one was listening. She hated the sound of her own voice. It was too high and nasally to accept. Why did she keep speaking, you may ask? She wanted to drown out her thoughts by always saying something. No one really cared. About her opinions that weren't educated. About her beliefs that weren't true. About her perspective that wasn't hers. It was a mirror of what she thought she wanted to reflect in her life and those around her. It was all smoke, a distraction from who she wanted to be, from who she was supposed to be. The valuable lesson came upon her one day when her friend mentioned that she should try listening to those around her instead of only to herself. For the first time in years, she actually heard someone else say something. For the first time, she actually listened and took in another person's words. Since that fateful moment, she no longer fills a room with unnecessary air. She laughs, smiles, and waits her turn. She formulates her opinions through hearing other people's perspectives and reading what's happening. She learned those awkward pauses aren't meant to be painful, they're meant for one to think. Hearing someone is as important as wanting to be heard.