Perceptions of Realization

You're aware of what is said about you.
The names they say, the words they use.
You know it all. Yet your image is false.
You know this. You controlled this.
You made all of this a discussion point.
What people say is what they mean.
They may deny it. They may hide it.
Though there's honesty in emotions.
You make fun of yourself to be aware.
You've been in on the joke for years.
You've been hurt. You've been bullied.
Yet you don't take responsibility.
You play the victim. You even said it.
You said what others say about you.
You're saying the truth. You're you.
You've been through many phases.
You line them up, showing you're gone.
You yell. You cuss. You put yourself down.
The perception of you is on full display.
You realize what you've done by growing.
You're finding yourself within a crowd.
They talk down to you, make you go insane.
You're so many things that aren't real.
You're looking for who you're meant to be.
You're lost. You're found. You're human.
You've tried to please. You made enemies.
You're now here. You're not happy.
There's many who don't understand you.
You don't know how that's possible.
You try to connect but cannot.
You try to relate but cannot.
Your identity is wrapped up in this.
Your soul is struggling to come through.
You ask yourself who you are.
You've lived this life. You're a star.
You won't be liked by most. You know this.
You're done being so many things.
You're done pleasing to please.
You're done being sweet.
You realize how you're perceived.
You're aware of this.
You know why people hate you.
You know people say you play the victim.
Though you still play the role you know best.

You. 

Turbulence

We're in bumpy times, we're on a 

plane and we don't know where

we're heading because it's being

shaken too much to hear anything

besides the screams of people

trying to handle what they can and

cannot control. We all want to be

on the ground but we're afraid to

land because we're flying over the

infinite sea. We're told one thing

and then another. We just want

answers but we're left asking more

questions. It could be night or day

but nothing is certain. We need

silence to process but it cannot be

done with everyone speaking and

no one listening. We wonder so

many things all at once and the

ones who are thinking, try to speak

but are yelled at for having a point

that should be listened to. We have

our hands in our laps. Some are

praying, others are speaking to 

keep themselves calm, a few are 

looking around wondering how we 

got in this situation.

Saga of Swift

Over the past couple of years, I have not been the biggest Taylor Swift fan. When she first came out with her debut record, I was her prime audience. I was in middle school and was obsessed with Hannah Montana. So, of course, I would like this country singer who looked kind of like me (the blonde hair at least). I have bought every record she's ever released, with the last three being the day it came out. I loved her records and thought that she was a cool chick. I didn't have any issues with her.

This was until 1989 came out, and her public image became more public than I was ever used to seeing her. Maybe it was because I wasn't about all the tabloids or she just wasn't in the celebrity mainstream news as often. And if she was, it was just gossip, nothing based in reality. When 1989 was released, something about her public image shifted. The term squad came into popular culture and her definition of it is something I cannot personally relate to. Seeing her post all of these Instagram photos of her with her best friends all the time and being so supportive of every single person in her group (which there are way too many to count), I didn't know what to necessarily make of it. And if I had to be honest, it kind of made me not like her. I thought she was annoying because it was all maneuvering in a way where I can kind of see the puzzle pieces being placed. It was just too much.

And then she started dating Calvin Harris. I thought they were super cute, though I wasn't really following it. It wasn't until they broke up and she started seeing Tom Hiddleston, when I realized why I didn't like her as a public figure anymore. They went everywhere together they went to Italy they went to England and all the places where you would expect the most romantic love to happen. The paparazzi photos of them were too good to be true. I didn't like her because I knew too much. No one should be in the headlines every day. And if they are there something wrong. It seemed as though every week there was at least two stories of her and her new relationship that was true because we could actually see what was going on. It was this strange dynamic of controlling and celebrity image colliding in a way we aren't used to seeing. 

And then she was gone. She was no longer in the headlines every day. The past year, it appears Taylor has shifted her life to make sure she has the privacy she needs to live the most for filling life she can. And the more she's not in the news, The more I like her. I like it when there's a bit of mystery because the artists want to actually have privacy and have there be a curtain in between them and people who admire the work. I like the people who were come out when they're promoting Mia work and leave when they are not. Taylor has now become more private and I respect her decision to not leave it as public as she did a couple of years ago.

All this being said, when I heard about the Taylor Swift and DJ sexual assault allegations, I wasn't sure what to make of it. Not to say Taylor is wrong but I didn't know enough or maybe I wasn't paying attention to really have a strong opinion on it. That was until this whole civil trial came up. When I read through A few articles and tweets, I realize how important what Taylor is doing really is. She didn't have to do it. She could've easily blown it off and said you're stupid, I just paid the guy and called it a day. But she didn't because things changed after that moments. That guy shouldn't have grabbed her ass in the first place. But he did and that's how she's on the stand today, being her badass self not letting this guy or his lawyers get to her. She is strong confident and not backing down from telling the story and not letting him get away with the inappropriate and disgusting actions he caused to her. 

I may not always be a fan of Taylor Swift but this last year and with this trial has shown me that perceptions are rarely accurate and people can always change. What Taylor doing is admirable and powerful for all women, to speak up when injustice has been done to us because of the gender we have been born into or have chosen. Being a female shouldn't make us targets for this despicable behavior. Taylor knows this, both from her experience and as a woman with Power, she is willing to make it known that any man who causes harm should not and will not be let's go. There are consequences for your actions and suing someone doesn't help.

Fake Truth

We're living in a society where "fake" is relevant
and facts are taken as suggestions instead of
truth. "Alternative facts" is the new phrase to
say when the truth doesn't work for you. You
can't say the truth isn't true when it doesn't work
for you. At least, that's how it used to be.

It's more obvious than ever before: we're living
in a divided country where the sides are clear
and no one wants to talk to each other. We're
set in our stubborn ways with our valid beliefs.

"I'm right!"
"You're wrong!!"
"Fake news! They're spreading fake news!!"
"Your opinion is wrong because it doesn't align with mine!"
.
.
.
.

Adults acting like children. Can't even have a
simple conversation because blame gets thrown
around and everyone walks away. Yet the simple
conversations are the most difficult. There's a reason
why no one talks about politics and religion with
those closest to them, especially with those who
aren't on the same page as you. Don't go there.

I had a conversation with my Grandmother earlier
this summer. We're on the opposite ends of the
political spectrum. Though we were able to have
civil interactions and walk away with the same
caring relationship we have. Because we knew
we weren't going to change the others opinions.
The goal wasn't to agree or persuade the other
to change beliefs. 

Though we did agree on one thing.

Both parties need to meet in the middle in order
to accomplish anything. Yes, we're divided but
division shouldn't prevent anyone from getting
what needs to be done accomplished. And yet,
this is the society we're living in. Accusations
are being thrown around based on personal
beliefs. Lies are being said in silence. There's
too much disagreement to begin to find the
way to a conclusive middle.

I wonder how the current President's
behavior will shape the generation of
children who are growing up now. How
will his inability to take responsibility
and immature banter triple down to
the ones who are not able to vote? Will
they use his behavior as a lesson or an
excuse to how they will act as adults?
A lot of it boils down to how the
parents handle talking to their kids
about how the "leader" of this country
speaks about himself and others.


Don't call people losers or deny something that's true.
Don't let your insecurities dictate your actions.
Don't put blame on other people when you're the one at fault.

Take responsibilities for your mistakes a learn.
Keep your word when you say you're going to do something.
Accept the truth instead of calling it fake and lies.


Lessons are important,
for everyone. As an adult,
it can be difficult to
change your ways. But it's
not impossible. We need to
listen to one another without
automatic judgment. Though
it's very easy to do. We have
to quit the blame game because
no one wins. Calling each other
names and shutting each other
out is what children do. As a
society of grown adults, difficult
conversations need to be had in
order to see the other sides. We
may not have to agree with each other
but we need to understand one another
in order to move forward.

There's a hole being dug and
everyone's helping out, whether
you acknowledge it or not. The
hole is filled with voices talking
over each other. It's too loud
to comprehend what anyone is
actually saying. Nothing is getting
done because of the constant talking
and accusing. 


You may not agree with me. I may not agree with you.

We don't have to persuade
each other to believe in
how we individually feel.

You don't want to believe in what I do. I don't want to believe in what you do.

We do have to acknowledge each other as people and
find a way to work together.
To fill the hole with a sea of chaotic voices.

We do need to understand each other to get things
done without judgment, though it is difficult.

No one said living amongst others was easy. No one
said we're going to agree on everything.

It'll be difficult and uncomfortable at times.


But if we do nothing, we will fail future
generations. They'll look back to this
moment in time and see the map that got us
here. They'll wonder why we couldn't figure
things out. Why we couldn't get along
despite our differences of opinions. 


I think the majority of us can agree that
we all want what's best for our country. That
this divide isn't a productive way to live.


We can all do better.