The Joys Of Making Art

One idea turns into another which explodes into a burst of energy that's contagious. A viewpoint can be captured can add an artistic detail the artist did not think of. An experience of making art can be more fun than anyone expects. Turning a creative idea into a reality is both thrilling and terrifying. Nothing will be as you thought it would be but perhaps it will be even better. The process is beautiful and the lighting is decent, the view is stunning and the people are abundant. The setbacks are frustrating but ultimately rewarding. For changes must be made faster than the mind can compose a decent thought. The artist spend days, weeks, months, and years working towards their goal of bringing beauty into the world. Their eyes shared with multiple souls. Everything shifts and nothing changes. The work was done to give the universe something that wasn't present, a detail missing and desperately needed. People say what they want but artists say what they need. To live in memories that never happened, to return to moments they cannot go back to. The art produced is birthing the idea the artist created, compiled with details only they know. From start to finish, the process was private and grueling and very frustrating. Then there were the moments that surprised them. When others join the process and create a new energy. Each part is a moment captured within the creation. Laugh shared, tears fell, everyone went home, no one was around when the sun rose and created a painting in the sky, sparking the idea into beautiful eyes which led to words filled with magic and lovely little lies. 

Beginning of Summer

Summer officially begins in two days. Though it has felt like summer for the past few weeks. Over the last couple of years, winter and summer have somehow merged with spring. So there's no guessing as to when one season shifts to the next weather wise. I am not a huge fan of summer. The heat is too overwhelming and the beach is not my cup of tea. Though I'd gladly be by a lake any day. I prefer autumn or spring's weather over summer. I may even prefer winter over summer, which is something I thought I'd never write. 

Though with the talk of which song will define the summer, bathing suit shopping, and the perfect summer drink, I've been wondering lately: what's the appeal about summer that the other seasons do not share? The opportunity to spend more time outdoors? Having darker skin? Going to a lot of concerts? Feeling as though responsibilities are a little less real?

Most adults grew up with having a lot of freedom in the summertime. Memories filled with pool days, sleepovers that lasted the weekend, and laughs that caused belly aches. There was something about summer as a kid that felt as though anything was possible. As a teenager, summer's were filled with opened days with nothing to work towards. As a young adult, this season consists of classes and working. Though there's still the feeling of freedom that lingers in the air. Being able to create, explore, and dream hasn't yet left the minds of the young adults trying to figure things out. 

Although summertime isn't my favorite season as an adult, I enjoy the green scenery and blooming flowers, spending days by a lake,and getting caught up in a good book. I like to get lost in realities I create, smelling like a campfire for days, and having in person conversations with relatives that live far away. I like listening to the newly released records from artists I admire, watching sunsets take away light, and reading as many books as I can. I enjoy making memories I can hold on to as I grow like the ones I have from my childhood. 

Speaking of song of the summer, Lorde's new record Melodrama was released on Friday and I've been listening to it nonstop. There's something about a young woman who writes songs about her own experiences that really appeals to me. I'm obsessed with Melodrama for that reason. Writer In The Dark is my favorite song from the album, for obvious reasons given the title. I may not be able to relate to the experiences she's gone through but I know the feeling of being lost. Going through the ups and downs of finding your center within yourself can be a roller coaster. I relate to that and waiting four years for this record has been worth the wait. So far this is my favorite summer record. Lana Del Rey's new album Lust for Life is set to be released next month, I shall see where that stands with Lorde's Melodrama and Bleacher's Gone Now.

As spring leaves and summer moves in for the next three months, I'll be interested in seeing how I will feel about this hot season by the end. Will I understand the appeal? Like the people's choice of song of the summer? Get sick of the overwhelming heat? Actually enjoy the beach? I shall see. Maybe I'll write about it at the end of summer in three months to let you know the answers to these questions. 

You've Got Mail

I cried when my parent switched our internet from dial-up to wifi. I was 12 and social media, smartphones, and apps were nonexistent. It was 2005 and we had moved from an extremely hot climate to relatively cold one, depending on the time of year. There were so many changes turning my life upside down: new state, new city, new house, new school, new friends, new beginning. With all those changes, I didn't think the slow internet I had come to admire and ponder was changing too. You can probably guess, change is difficult to me. To this day, I get emotional over change because it's a lot to process and my way of processing involves feeling emotions and shedding tears. Hearing AOL's familiar, comforting greeting, "You've Got Mail" when I'd login was something I had grown accustomed to. To be fair, the only mail I received was from my mom or my friend at school who was just as into computers as I was. The thought of messaging a note to someone was thrilling. I would spend most of my online time watching Hilary Duff music videos and playing games on Millsberry.com. 

Once I found an online chat on AOL and got really excited, I was probably around the age of 10. The thought of chatting with people online and seeing usernames pop up was both thrilling and exiting. When I told my mom about this online group chat thing when she asked me why I was so excited to go onto the computer after dinner, she instructed my sister and I to stay away from them, too many unknowns. It’s true though, too many unknowns to trust people’s words, people hiding behind uncreative usernames. She wanted us to be kids and not spend too much time on the computer. Life was different back then. I feel as though my generation (born before 1995) were the last one’s to experience and grow up in a world not hounded by technology and social media. I was able to climb trees, ride bikes, and make up games with friends without the thought of when I could go on the computer lingering in the back of my mind.

The world has changed a lot in the past 10-12 years, even in the past 5 years, technology has advanced to a place where it’s a very necessary part of most people’s lives. Social media was around but not prevalent when I graduated high school in 2012. Facebook was the social network used the most. I had a Twitter but it wasn’t that popular. I had Instagram too but it hadn’t taken off yet. Today, technology and social media is everywhere. So many people are glued to their smartphones and it’s become an addiction. People think in terms of how a post or picture can generate likes. “Hashtags” are used in day to day amongst young people. “Selfie” is a word in the dictionary. People lifestream events to share with followers instead of being in the moment.

There should be a healthy balance between your virtual presence and your actual life if you’re on social media. In my opinion, posting should be an after thought, once you’re no longer in a moment. Again, I’m not one to tell anyone how live their life, let alone their online life. I just feel as though we should not forget how to live life without of connections to our smartphones and our followers. I won’t deny that I used to be constantly on my phone, checking updates when there were none. It was a habit I have come to realize and step back from. I was wasting time on Tumblr liking and reblogging posts that meant nothing to me. It was something I would do when I had free time and I wasted too much time. So I deleted my account and it’s forced me to spend time doing more productive activities. I realized it’s all about the mindset I choose to be in. I could let my life fly by or I could disconnect and be in the moment. 

If I were to give my younger self any advice when it came to navigating technology and social media, I would tell her things are more exciting than they actually are. Don't fall into holes you are uncertain of. Know when to say something and know when to like. Be aware that social media shouldn't take up time, even though it will. It's a tool to get information and to talk with other people about what's going on, not how I should spend my entire days. Eventually, everything will balance out but you will waste time looking up stupid things repeatedly. You won't regret the time loss but you will make sure you will not lose anymore. It's all a part of a bigger life. 

When I felt disconnected with the switch from dial up to wifi, state to state, home to home, change to change, I felt as though my balance wasn't worth trusting. That when I would fall, I wouldn't be able to pick myself up. I was constantly feeling unsure about where I was and who I wanted to be. I was filled with anxiety amongst uncertainty. Now, dial up barely exists in a world dominated by a wireless connection. My anxiety is no longer present and I get emails from more than one person.  

Avoiding The Cable News

During my childhood and teen years, whenever I would watch the news, I would personalize every single story without thinking otherwise. I would presume that every tragedy was bound to happen to me. My biggest fears as a kid was fire and kidnapping, mostly kidnapping. I was an anxiety filled teenager, so much so that a therapist advised me to avoid the news entirely. For the past year or so, I've been watching the news from a different perspective, feeling something else with every story I keep up with. I no longer personalize everything. I'm now left with with a different kind of negative, unhealthy thoughts. The current administration has left me in shock. Whenever I watch the news, I feel as though I hear the same conversation over and over again.  Our news media in America has turned into a reality show. And the scary part is that this is our actual reality, this is really happening. There's no one writing the words or developing the plot lines. This is real and this is terrifying.

It's terrifying for different reasons than I feared as a kid. For one, the man currently in charge of the country love the power of being on top. He lives off ego and thoughts without thinking. He's a dangerous man because of his ignorance of not seeing the weight of his words. Then there's all that FAKE NEWS has to offer. What is real becomes a matter of which news network you prefer to view. Some news is too conservative, others are too liberal. The news is supposed to be unbiased but that's rare at this moment in time. Most news anchors cannot leave their opinions out of it. It's a very difficult task these days but it's not entirely impossible. Watching the news day after day is exhausting. I realized that the more I watch the news, the less I feel informed. Like I mentioned, hearing the same conversation with details added when leaks are shared to the public is tiring. We're learning more but nothing is changing.

It's not the media's fault change isn't happening. The media is trying to report the truth while consciously or subconsciously sneaking in their opinions. Everything is a process but the administration distracting the media by sparking up controversies to focus on anything other than the investigation that could change anything. Where there is so much smoke, there has to be fire. Eventually what is being hidden will come to light. Then change will happen.  It's not the media's fault there having the same damn conversation day after day. But because I'm tired of hearing the same words in different order variations, I have decided to avoid watching the news. I found myself spending hours trying to figure out the mystery that is the current state of humanity, seeing clues underneath the same words consecutively spoken. My findings were conclusive: everything is biased and everyone is trying to save themselves. The media is trying to uncover the secrets/truth and the administration is trying to use alternative labels to name truths with lies and fake. 

Now that I no longer watch the cable news, except for using it as background noise while I'm trying to take a nap and the occasional breaking news headline that cannot be ignored like the other ones, I listen to a podcast to get the news. At first, I tried to listen to several podcasts but then I realized I was hearing the same conversations had by different voices. My friend who is studying journalism told me that she likes the New York Times because they try to be unbiased as possible. So I'm listening to the NYTimes new podcast The Daily, that informs me on what I need to know without going on and on like the news on TV. I also read online articles from the NYTimes, The New Yorker, Atlantic, and CNN. As well as scrolling through Twitter to see what's happening in society and mix of sarcastic and concerned comments coming from people all over the world. Since I stopped watching the news for hours on end, I found there's a calm feeling that comes along with not getting caught up in listening to conversations that continually loop day in and day out. Change will lighten up some of it but until there's real movement, the conversations won't change drastically.  

I avoid the cable news because after a while it becomes white noise and it does the opposite of relax me. We're living in uncertain times. We always are but this moment, the uncertainty is much more apparent. And to be clear, I know this post of biased. It's biased out of concern and fear for the present and future. The difference between watching the news now as opposed to when I was a kid is the lack of personalization. Although I no longer personalize the news stories, I imagine the future that is very much unknown. Where I will be and how I may be affected by it. I don't think about when things happen, I think about if they will happen. And that thought is most terrifying. A lot of what could happen could be either regression or progression. Time is not infinite, though we like to tell ourselves it is. How long does it take to repair damage? To change the conversation? To switch off the news?