"They’ll eat your heart alive
Every time."
As I write these words, my hands are shaking while pressing the keys. I don't know why they just are. I've had a few drinks and I don't know how much sense this will make. You see, I like to try and impress people with what I have to say. Rocky Mountain High by John Denver plays in the background. He's a good singer and sings good songs, songs that remind you of home or the good old days. This song, in particular, reminds me of the moments where I've experienced the wonders of this magical, mysterious earth we're lucky to call our home. Kerouac always writes honest words. I've been dabbling with the quote on the top of the page for a couple of weeks now. I've memorized this quote, trying to make sense of the deeper meanings. I read somewhere that Kerouac was Buddist, I'm not sure how accurate that is but his writing holds something special, something behind the words, it takes some time to peel away to find. Each person who does will find a different meaning. Meaning stems from the perspective of opinion, bias, and other life experience from our childhood and passions. We, each see the life through different eyes and process it as though we're the only ones here. We're alone with each other and yet we can find beautiful moments together. Humanity is mostly good, or so I tell myself to stay sane amongst the chaos that is this society. What is happening with America and the news and the endless conversation that leads us nowhere but back to the beginning of being completely confused? Did the fathers who begin this country imagine this is where we would be now? Fighting and hating one another because of our beliefs? What makes you right and me wrong? What causes these disagreements anyway? Why can't we see what we have in common instead of what we don't? How much longer can we stand for this? It's only been a year since this loser took office and we haven't improved our communication. We've only gotten worse. I guess you know who I voted for. Or maybe you don't. I wasn't planning on writing this to get political. But everything today revolves around talking about politics or the fighting about not believing one another. Why can't the government get anything accomplished if we're focusing too much on the wrong things? The stories constantly circling in the media, within both major party beliefs, aren't productive. How can we be productive? How can we accept one another without our differences blinding our motives? We need to be better. We need to work better. We need to be held accountable for our actions and learn how to do better. Respect. We need to teach respect. We need to learn to respect each other more than we need to focus on the difference between us. Anyway. The Kerouac quote has been swirling around in my thoughts for a few weeks. I think I mentioned it earlier. I'm too tired to go back and read. I think I did. He's right, Kerouac is. You can't expect to write something and have everyone loves it. I want to impress people. I don't impress myself often and my writing is where I can grab people's attention and have them listen for a few minutes. If you've gotten this far, I'm impressed. You've done better than me. I won't be reading this. Ignore any grammar or spelling mistakes. Blame the alcohol. The best excuse there is. What I'm trying to get at and I promise I'll stop as soon as I get this out. You gotta do what makes you happy and make the most out of what you love. There will be some people who will bring you down no matter what you do. Ignore them. They will eat your heart out every time. Don't take it personally. They don't have what you do. Get back up and show them their ignorant, biased criticism means nothing to you or what you want to do. Find songs that bring out memories and moments you've forgotten about. As I was writing the last few sentences, Jimi Hendrix's live version of Rolling Stone came on. Bob Dylan is an artist and whenever I listen to him, childhood car rides flash through my mind. Oh, the innocence. When the only thing that existed was the lyrics and the never-ending sea of landscape between one state another that rarely changes until you're far enough away from home. Jimi's version is magic, perfectly aligning with Dylan's lyrics. Artist meets another artist with a distinct understanding, nothing is set in stone except for what you're doing now. I'm going to go refill my glass. If you made it this far, you deserve a drink as well. It doesn't have to be alcohol, it can be tea or terrible coffee or water or whatever fancy thing you have in your fridge. Okay, be right back.
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