love yourself first.

"Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world." -Lucille Ball

As I've gotten older, I've realized how important it is to love yourself first. Lots of people feel that in order to feel good about who they are, they need to get other people to like them to be able to feel that way about themselves. When actually, it's the other way around. 

Being comfortable in your own skin and being okay with the person you are on the inside is one of the most important lessons in life. There's at least one thing that each of us don't like about ourselves that we can't change. For me, it's my stuttering. This year I have accepted that that's apart of who I am and I'm okay with that. Finding ways to help myself in times of difficulty with talking is a process. Coming up with my own ways to deal with my stutter and learning not to apologize for myself takes time. It's not easy, but it's a challenge I am willing to take on. I don't want to run away from my problems anymore. I would rather try something and be bad at it than saying I'm bad at something and not have any experience with it at all. And with practice, I'll be able to get into a rhythm that works for me. Yes I will have moments of struggle, but that's me and I should never apologize for who I am. Pause and take a deep breath, speak slowly and confidently. 

I remember being a teenager and being scared of so many things. I hated going out with people and would always stay home. That was my safe place where no one could hurt me but myself. I loved being by myself, as long as someone was home and not bothering me. Being in my early 20's, I would tell that little girl it's nice to be completely alone, but there's also a big beautiful world out there waiting to hear your voice. You're beautiful the way you are and you don't need to change for anyone else's standards. It's okay to tell people how you feel and that it's better to say something than to have your deepest secrets locked away where no one can hurt you. And if you don't feel like telling anyone, at least write down what's going on. You can give it to someone later, but writing what you feel will help you deal with how your feelings. You were born to be you, and you get to decide how you'll create your life. Know that everything will be okay in the end. Yes life sucks right now, but I promise you that life gets better and you'll create who you are as you start trying new things and exploring the world. Just don't be scared of life and don't let anyone bring you down. Some people are only meant to be in your life for a moment to teach you something about yourself, whether good or bad. When that person turns on the off ramp to go on a different road, don't feel like you did something to make them leave. If they're meant to be in your life, they'll get back on the highway when the timing is right. 

I'll end with this, I hear this saying a lot: in order for people to be comfortable with you, you have to be comfortable with yourself. That's completely true. As you find who you are and start creating a life for yourself, always remember to love who you are. It's something that's not easy, but when you do, it's the first step in creating your life. You may not be comfortable with all of your difficulties and challenges you have in life, but loving who you are is the first step to inner happiness.

At the end of the day, you have to focus on yourself first and be in love with who you are. It's who you are on the inside that's the most beautiful part about you. Outer beauty will either mask or reflect your inner beauty.

Do you know that you are beautiful?

Kelly.