Stage Manager: "No. Saints and poets maybe... they do some."
Our Town by Thornton Wilder
My dad once told me, "You see the world from a different perspective than most people." He had just gotten home from working late and I had just gotten through with informing him about all the little things that happened throughout my day. I cannot remember what I had said or the events of that day. All I remember is standing in the dim kitchen light after he walked upstairs, replaying those words in my head over and over again.
Ever since that moment, I've realized just how right my dad was. When I go to the super market or walk down the street, I wonder why people are so busy checking things off their to do list that the little things float right by them, invisible to their eyes. Don't they ever stop and smell the roses?
Maybe I have always seen the world through a different perspective. Or perhaps as I've gotten older and have been through struggles that most never have to experience, I gravitated towards this way of thinking. It's my way of survival, keeping me sane in this insane world. I choose to focus on the little things, the things that bring me joy.
When I'm driving to or from work, instead of getting annoyed there's traffic that I can't do anything about, I focus on the song that's playing or how beautiful the weather is. If the weather is awful I am thankful that my car has heaters or A/C. There's no use in getting upset over a situation you can't control. The only thing you can control is how you react. Stuck in traffic? Put on some music and sing at the top of your lungs. Why be frustrated not being able to move when you can have a mini concert in your car?
For a lot of my life, I have dealt with anxiety. Let me tell you, getting nervous and overthinking every single detail in life was my bread and butter. I don't know when there wasn't a time in my early life that I wasn't anxious. Maybe because I remember bad events and very small details no one else can recall that best. I think my younger self would have been happy to hide from the outside world forever if that meant nothing bad would ever happen to me.
Then last year I went through a lot with my health. It felt like one thing after another, getting tested to make sure I don't have one disease and being poked the next. I remember crying in the waiting room before my first procedure because I was thinking of all the bad things that could possibly be wrong with me.
About a month after that first test, I had to have another procedure. I remember I was having a lot of anxiety the days leading up to it. It's the fear of the unknown and wanting everything to be okay but at the same time having something in the back of my mind list off all the horrible things that could be wrong with me. My procedure was in the afternoon and I had to work in the morning. That morning in particular was very stressful, where I had to focus on the well being of someone else instead of thinking about my procedure that afternoon. It was an unfortunate and frightening situation, but it took me out of my own head. On the way to the hospital after leaving work, I couldn't help but think about what had happened. I was no longer anxious about what I was about to go through.
Something inside me switched off that day. Maybe it was what happened or how I was feeling about life up until that point. I remember waking up the next day, for the first time I could remember, not feeling scared about what the day might bring. That was a whole new feeling for me and it felt pretty damn good. As though I could face whatever the universe through my way. I could take it without being scared of what the outcome may be. Fortunately the doctors found out what was causing my issues and have been able to breathe easier knowing nothing was life threatening.
Instead of worrying what's to come in the day, I focus on the little things. Whether it's birds flying across an open sky or telling someone to have a nice day. It's the little things that mean the most but are often overlooked with the bigger issues going on. One thing I try to do each day is to notice the little things and be thankful for the life I have. Appreciate the little moments, the joys of living.
In spring of 2014, I discovered how important writing is to me. Whether it's a poem, a blog post, or a short story, I'm able to let out all my thoughts in a healthy way. Some pieces will only be for me while others I will let the world see. Focusing on all my feelings and translating that into words on a paper is extremely satisfying. My favorite thing about writing is trying to capture a little moment so when someone reads it they can relive that moment as though it's their own.
Life is beautiful and goes by in a blink of an eye. We can get too focused on daily life we forget that we're blessed to be alive. Be thankful to inhale and exhale, if nothing else.
Will you take a moment to stop and smell the roses?
'til next time.
Kelly.
About a month after that first test, I had to have another procedure. I remember I was having a lot of anxiety the days leading up to it. It's the fear of the unknown and wanting everything to be okay but at the same time having something in the back of my mind list off all the horrible things that could be wrong with me. My procedure was in the afternoon and I had to work in the morning. That morning in particular was very stressful, where I had to focus on the well being of someone else instead of thinking about my procedure that afternoon. It was an unfortunate and frightening situation, but it took me out of my own head. On the way to the hospital after leaving work, I couldn't help but think about what had happened. I was no longer anxious about what I was about to go through.
Something inside me switched off that day. Maybe it was what happened or how I was feeling about life up until that point. I remember waking up the next day, for the first time I could remember, not feeling scared about what the day might bring. That was a whole new feeling for me and it felt pretty damn good. As though I could face whatever the universe through my way. I could take it without being scared of what the outcome may be. Fortunately the doctors found out what was causing my issues and have been able to breathe easier knowing nothing was life threatening.
Instead of worrying what's to come in the day, I focus on the little things. Whether it's birds flying across an open sky or telling someone to have a nice day. It's the little things that mean the most but are often overlooked with the bigger issues going on. One thing I try to do each day is to notice the little things and be thankful for the life I have. Appreciate the little moments, the joys of living.
In spring of 2014, I discovered how important writing is to me. Whether it's a poem, a blog post, or a short story, I'm able to let out all my thoughts in a healthy way. Some pieces will only be for me while others I will let the world see. Focusing on all my feelings and translating that into words on a paper is extremely satisfying. My favorite thing about writing is trying to capture a little moment so when someone reads it they can relive that moment as though it's their own.
Life is beautiful and goes by in a blink of an eye. We can get too focused on daily life we forget that we're blessed to be alive. Be thankful to inhale and exhale, if nothing else.
Will you take a moment to stop and smell the roses?
'til next time.
Kelly.
Thanks Kelly
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