beauty is only skin deep

"Only my mom taught me that the secret to wearing makeup is to make it look like you're not wearing any."
-Becky, Full House 'Back to School Blues'

I wasn't the girl who spent hours in the mirror trying to look beautiful or older. In fact, I was proud to get out the door if I got ready in under three minutes. I was never interested in makeup, very little interest in brushing my hair. I wasn't a tomboy or a girly girl. I was just didn't have any desire to enhance my look. Lots of the girls in middle school and high school would spend hours on their hair and makeup. I did it once in 10th grade and was over it the next day. Too much work to look like someone I don't recognize were my thoughts on makeup. All throughout my teenage years my skin was clear, a pimple here and there but I would be complimented for my flawless skin. I remember talking to a friend about how I barely wore any makeup because I was confident in who I was, that I didn't need to hide who I am with makeup.  

That was before I developed adult acne.

I thought because I was blessed with beautiful skin as a teenager, I would never have to worry about acne. What no one told me is that you can get acne at any time in your life, doesn't matter whether you're a teenager or an adult. So when I started getting acne the summer before my 21st birthday, I didn't know how to handle it. Why am I getting pimples? I'm not a teenager anymore, this should not be happening. My skin didn't listen to me and the acne is still as present now as it's been these past few months.

I've been to the dermatologist and what they give me helps to control it a bit but not enough to make everything clear up. I've learned it's a process and that nothing will work the first time or the second time. It can be frustrating and annoying at times if I let my mind focus on my skin problem. Realizing that focusing on it does not make the acne go away nor change anything.

Makeup has somehow magically turned into my new best friend. From being confident in my own clear skin to spending time covering up my imperfections is a big eyeopener for me. Now I get why girls and woman spend so much time trying to look like their best self. It's not a mask like my younger self once thought, it's to help you make you feel more presentable to face the world without feeling like the world can see all the problems on your face.

When I was growing up I was obsessed with Full House. I woke up every morning at 6am to watch two episodes before getting ready for school. I've probably seen every episode at least three times. There was an episode called 'Back to School Blues' where DJ was starting middle school and thought to fit in she had to wear a lot of makeup. When she did her makeup without anyone telling her how to wear it, she looked like a clown. Overdone and way too much of everything. When her dad finds out she wants to wear makeup, he does know how to handle it. He doesn't want his little girl to grow up and it's harder because his wife isn't there to teach DJ the proper way to put it on. That's when Becky, her dad's coworker and her later to be aunt, asks if she can help. 

I love that line Becky tells DJ. It's powerful, young girls who are just learning to wear makeup should be told this. A little goes a long way and you don't want to look like a clown. You want to look like your best self, not someone that doesn't look like you. 

From being the girl that refused to put on any makeup it any at all to the young adult who wears make up to covers up my imperfections, wanting to look as natural as possible has always been my goal. I'm not trying to look like a model, but to look presentable.

So when people talk to me, they're looking at me not focused on my skin problems. If I don't want it to be the main focus when I look at myself, I don't want it to be yours either.

'til next time.

Kelly.