You've Got Mail

I cried when my parent switched our internet from dial-up to wifi. I was 12 and social media, smartphones, and apps were nonexistent. It was 2005 and we had moved from an extremely hot climate to relatively cold one, depending on the time of year. There were so many changes turning my life upside down: new state, new city, new house, new school, new friends, new beginning. With all those changes, I didn't think the slow internet I had come to admire and ponder was changing too. You can probably guess, change is difficult to me. To this day, I get emotional over change because it's a lot to process and my way of processing involves feeling emotions and shedding tears. Hearing AOL's familiar, comforting greeting, "You've Got Mail" when I'd login was something I had grown accustomed to. To be fair, the only mail I received was from my mom or my friend at school who was just as into computers as I was. The thought of messaging a note to someone was thrilling. I would spend most of my online time watching Hilary Duff music videos and playing games on Millsberry.com. 

Once I found an online chat on AOL and got really excited, I was probably around the age of 10. The thought of chatting with people online and seeing usernames pop up was both thrilling and exiting. When I told my mom about this online group chat thing when she asked me why I was so excited to go onto the computer after dinner, she instructed my sister and I to stay away from them, too many unknowns. It’s true though, too many unknowns to trust people’s words, people hiding behind uncreative usernames. She wanted us to be kids and not spend too much time on the computer. Life was different back then. I feel as though my generation (born before 1995) were the last one’s to experience and grow up in a world not hounded by technology and social media. I was able to climb trees, ride bikes, and make up games with friends without the thought of when I could go on the computer lingering in the back of my mind.

The world has changed a lot in the past 10-12 years, even in the past 5 years, technology has advanced to a place where it’s a very necessary part of most people’s lives. Social media was around but not prevalent when I graduated high school in 2012. Facebook was the social network used the most. I had a Twitter but it wasn’t that popular. I had Instagram too but it hadn’t taken off yet. Today, technology and social media is everywhere. So many people are glued to their smartphones and it’s become an addiction. People think in terms of how a post or picture can generate likes. “Hashtags” are used in day to day amongst young people. “Selfie” is a word in the dictionary. People lifestream events to share with followers instead of being in the moment.

There should be a healthy balance between your virtual presence and your actual life if you’re on social media. In my opinion, posting should be an after thought, once you’re no longer in a moment. Again, I’m not one to tell anyone how live their life, let alone their online life. I just feel as though we should not forget how to live life without of connections to our smartphones and our followers. I won’t deny that I used to be constantly on my phone, checking updates when there were none. It was a habit I have come to realize and step back from. I was wasting time on Tumblr liking and reblogging posts that meant nothing to me. It was something I would do when I had free time and I wasted too much time. So I deleted my account and it’s forced me to spend time doing more productive activities. I realized it’s all about the mindset I choose to be in. I could let my life fly by or I could disconnect and be in the moment. 

If I were to give my younger self any advice when it came to navigating technology and social media, I would tell her things are more exciting than they actually are. Don't fall into holes you are uncertain of. Know when to say something and know when to like. Be aware that social media shouldn't take up time, even though it will. It's a tool to get information and to talk with other people about what's going on, not how I should spend my entire days. Eventually, everything will balance out but you will waste time looking up stupid things repeatedly. You won't regret the time loss but you will make sure you will not lose anymore. It's all a part of a bigger life. 

When I felt disconnected with the switch from dial up to wifi, state to state, home to home, change to change, I felt as though my balance wasn't worth trusting. That when I would fall, I wouldn't be able to pick myself up. I was constantly feeling unsure about where I was and who I wanted to be. I was filled with anxiety amongst uncertainty. Now, dial up barely exists in a world dominated by a wireless connection. My anxiety is no longer present and I get emails from more than one person.